What we sell is the illusion of control

Welcome to a marketplace of absurd solutions for imaginary problems. Whether you're managing a cabinet of incompetents, attending a mandatory spiritual alignment session, or earning merit badges in blame avoidance, we've got the paraphernalia to match.

Bad Apple Emporium specializes in:

  • Corporate apologies with no substance
  • Bureaucratic delays you can hold in your hand
  • Card games, objects, and paper goods that mirror the madness

Nothing we sell is urgent. Everything we sell is real.